How Stardew Valley Healed Me

 After my application to my intended PhD program was rejected, I fell back into cozy gaming.

Cozy gaming skyrocketed during the pandemic in 2020 with the highly anticipated release of Animal Crossing: New Horizons, coupled with so much time spent socially distancing or staying indoors. 

My friends and I, first- and second-year undergraduate students at the height of the pandemic, frequently connected through Animal Crossing, visiting each others’ islands to view the work we each had done to curate museums, welcome cute animal villagers, or express our personal style through decoration.

But 2020 was not the beginning of cozy gaming for me. It was a moment when my childhood hobbies were handed back to me and celebrated by internet trends. I’d grown up gaming. My parents had enjoyed The Sims early on in their marriage, and the Sims 2 was a staple in my life growing up. I’d frequently irritate my grandmother by using up all her disc space creating new families on the Sims to correspond with original characters in my middle school creative writing projects.

My brother and I had grown up with a GameCube, and eventually a Wii, a gift from our well-off uncle. Over the years, we’d acquired a pretty hefty stash of DS and GameBoy color consoles and games. Harvest Moon and Animal Crossing were personal favorites.

By the time my family hosted a moving sale the summer before I started middle school, I sold my DSi for $60 (a decision I still regret) because it was collecting dust as I became more and more invested in YA dystopian novels. 

In high school, we’d had a family XBOX and I felt pure bliss spending hours hogging the TV to play the Sims 4. Sometimes, I’d lay on my brother’s bedroom floor watching him play first-person shooters and combat-heavy adventure games. I’d soak up the story and game design, denying his offers to let me play second player. 

When college came around, it was easier for me to acknowledge my love of cozy gaming as a hobby I turned to when I needed comfort. Even though I didn’t feel the need to invest thousands in a PC setup, I still knew I loved games. The Nintendo Switch and ACNH came at a perfect time.

Now, as a graduate student speedily wrapping up my time in the program, I’m beginning to apply to PhD programs. I’d sent a couple applications out last semester to my dream school in Denver where I’ll be relocating to live with my partner later this year. Ahead of my trip out to Denver for Valentine’s Day, we’d made comments about making sure to plan a celebratory dinner for when (not if) I was accepted into the program. I was crushed two days before my flight when both of my applications were denied.

I’d planned on moving to join my partner in the city where he’d been living since completing his undergraduate studies. I’d envisioned a future where we would find a place living near the campus and I’d make friends in my PhD program. I’d have a sense of meaning and purpose to my days while he was in the office, and I’d get to tell him all about it when he came home. Suddenly, all of that was washed away with the wave of a program director’s hand. 

I very quickly found myself in a funk and in a bout of insomnia one night, picked my Nintendo Switch back up. Suddenly, there was a joy I recalled in logging into the virtual worlds of Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley that had brought me comfort during times of isolation and little checklists to complete throughout the day when life felt flat and boundless. I’ve since been able to put the Switch back down even as my mental health has bounced back.

With that, I’m tapping back into cozy gaming creators and communities like Cozy K (Kennedy off-screen) and her Discord community. Her videos are marked by a quippy sense of humor and dedication to a life built around what she calls “cozy hobbies”---gaming, reading, coloring, etc.--- making them a staple in my current daily winddown ritual. I’ll cocoon myself in bed with my own switch to tend to my digital farms and listen to Kennedy talk about what she’s playing or the new markers she just ordered.

I revisited an older video of Kennedy’s called “Cozy Switch Games for your Mental Health Rut” and wished I had found it sooner. In the video, she lays out a few different categories of games for those who turn to gaming when in the midst of burnout, seasonal affective disorder, or some other mental funk. Among the categories she names are games to turn your brain off to, and games that address mental health in the narrative.

I especially loved her reasoning behind the category for games that deal with responsibility and community: “Something that you maybe should do but aren’t doing because you aren’t feeling so great, or just a sense of community even if that’s virtual, and responsibility to that community that allows you to show up for something or some community everyday. It allows you to find a sense of purpose if you’re having a little bit of difficulty finding that on a day-to-day basis.”

The two games she listed were Stardew Valley and Cozy Grove, and I realized I’d been doing exactly that with Stardew Valley. On some days, I couldn’t bring myself to complete school readings or cook a meal or finish a job application, but I could complete a few quests on my Switch and feel like I’d done something for the day that mattered, even if just to me. 

Of all of Kennedy’s videos, this is one I’d recommend the most. Thankfully, we live in a time where people are becoming increasingly vocal about caring for their mental health. In times that are somehow “unprecedented” most of the time, it’s no wonder that we all struggle from time to time. Sometimes, we just need a game to turn our brain off to, and sometimes, we need a healthy dose of digital escapism—tending to cozy farms instead of doomscrolling.